The Truth About Amateur, Novice and Home Produced
Hi,
Late yesterday evening, once the humans had finally gone home and the yard lights had dimmed, an emergency meeting was called in the hay barn.
Attendance was strong.
Ponies, horses, one elderly cob who attends all meetings whether invited or not, and Moonshine, who had taken it upon himself to chair the proceedings.
“First item,” Moonshine announced, flicking a piece of straw off his mane.
“Show season.”
A small grey pony immediately spoke up.
“My human has entered something called a novice class this weekend.”
Moonshine nodded wisely.
“Yes,” he said.
“That means the pony has not yet won enough to be considered dangerous.”
General agreement around the barn.
A tall bay hunter raised his head from the haylage.
“I would like clarification,” he said.
“My rider says we are doing an amateur class.”
Moonshine consulted the minutes.
“Amateur,” he explained carefully,
“means the human does the producing themselves.”
A Welsh Section B coughed politely.
“You mean the human brushes us, plaits us, loads the trailer, drives to the show, warms us up and then tries to remember the individual show pattern?”
“Yes,” said Moonshine.
“While also carrying three grooming kits, a saddle, a show jacket and several questionable life choices.”
Sympathetic snorting filled the barn.
From the back, a veteran school pony cleared her throat.
“What about home produced?” she asked.
A moment of silence.
Then a small chestnut pony spoke quietly.
“That’s when the human learns everything the hard way.”
Moonshine nodded again.
“Exactly.
Home produced means the human is:
Trainer
Groom
Driver
Plaiting assistant
Psychological support team”
“And occasionally,” added the cob,
“late.”
Discussion then moved on to turnout standards.
A perfectly groomed show pony stepped forward.
“I was bathed three times yesterday,” he reported.
“Apparently my tail needed one more rinse.”
The cob snorted.
“My human brushed half the mud off me and said,
‘That will do.’”
The committee agreed standards varied considerably between yards.
Final item on the agenda:
Individual shows.
A very experienced mare spoke with authority.
“My rider practised our individual show six times,” she said.
“In the warm-up she remembered every movement perfectly.
In the ring she rode a shape best described as… interpretive geography.”
Moonshine sighed.
“Yes,” he said.
“Circles become ovals.
Ovals become suggestions.
And occasionally the whole thing becomes vibes.”
General agreement.
As the meeting closed, Moonshine delivered the final verdict.
“Humans preparing for showing are:
Well-meaning
Occasionally chaotic
And deeply committed.”
He paused thoughtfully.
“Also,” he added,
“they appear to believe clean boots stay clean at shows.”
The barn erupted in laughter.
But as the ponies returned to their haylage, one thing was agreed.
Show season was coming.
And tomorrow the humans would return with plaiting bands, grooming kits, and a great deal of determination.
Which meant the ponies would have plenty of opportunities
to continue their research.
See you at the yard,
Charlene
Founder – World Equestria
