In the Show Ring
Hi,
Right.
I have something to say about this morning.
Firstly… my human.
We were in the ring, I was going nicely, enjoying myself, moving forward, feeling quite impressive if I’m honest.
And then she leans down and whispers in my ear:
“You are an idiot… will you behave.”
Through her teeth.
Not loud enough for anyone else to hear…
…but loud enough that I absolutely heard it.
Honestly.
So I gave her a small buck.
Nothing major.
Just enough to remind her who she was talking to.
Next.
There was another pony across the ring having a brilliant time.
Proper enjoying himself.
Little bit of sideways, bit of flair, bit of personality.
I thought — that looks fun.
I’ll have a go.
So I did.
And what did I get?
A dig in the ribs.
A DIG.
For enjoying myself.
Sorry???
Then of course… you have that one.
The show-off.
Flicking his legs up like he’s in slow motion.
Honestly it would make you sick.
My human is smiling away at everyone…
and then quietly to me:
“Why can’t you be like that?”
Nothing like being compared in public.
Really builds confidence.
Then — the man in the middle.
Bowler hat.
Standing there like some sort of penguin.
Waving us about.
“Come into the centre.”
Right.
I wanted to be first.
Naturally.
Did I get first?
No.
Fifth.
FIFTH.
So I had to stand there… doing nothing… for ages.
So I tried to eat the grass.
Because I was bored.
Apparently that was bold behaviour.
I call it passing the time.
Also — can we talk about the humans smiling through gritted teeth?
What is that about?
They look happy…
but they are absolutely not happy.
It’s unsettling.
Then I was sent in on my own.
The “individual show.”
We have done this.
A million times.
At home.
Same routine.
Same leg.
Same everything.
So I thought…
let’s change it up.
Bit of creativity.
Bit of initiative.
So I picked up the other leg.
Felt brilliant.
Really thought I’d nailed it.
Came out of the ring…
and I hear her say:
“He’s just being bold… he’s done that a million times and today he decides to change it.”
Excuse me???
I was improving it.
Anyway.
Some pony got a massive rosette.
Lovely.
Very nice.
I stood.
Waited.
Kept standing.
Still waiting.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
So let me just say this.
I am done.
Done with the bathing.
Done with the shining.
Done with the brushing and the “stand still” and the “don’t move” and the “be good.”
For what?
No prize.
However.
When I came out…
I did get a very generous handful of treats.
So.
I think we can all agree…
someone felt guilty.
As they should.
See you at the yard,
Charlene
Founder – World Equestria
